Sunday, April 7, 2019

The Bubble

Hello and welcome to The Bubble. Thank you for choosing The Bubble for your extradomular excursion to the surface world. Remember, choose The Bubble or die horribly. "The Bubble! It's what all your still-living friends are using!" 

Please fasten your restraints and do not stand while The Bubble is in motion. Attempting to leave The Bubble while outside the dome will result in immediate TERMINATION ... of your insurance policy. 

Ahaha. 

No but seriously, everything out there will kill you. 

Here we can see the flowering cherry tree. Note the delicate pink flowers, which bloom only for a week or two each year. Inhaling the pollen is like snorting ground glass directly up your nose. So don't do that. Remain in the comfort and safety of The Bubble. 

Underneath the tree you can see a feral example of an animal once known as felis catus. Aww. How cute! An estimated 90% of surviving specimens are infected with an RNA lyssavirus invariably fatal to humans. Do not worry. The Bubble will protect you. Nice kitty. Say bye-bye! 

Is there any other safe method of exploring the surface? Good question, I'm glad you asked. No, there is not. Other companies may claim their products provide protection, but they are lying. Any evidence provided by your own eyes cannot be trusted. Only The Bubble guarantees safety. Do not leave The Bubble. 

Please remain in your seat. Trust The Bubble. Return to your seat. The Bubble is your friend. The Bubble loves you. Do not open The Bubble. Lethal force authorized. Haha, just kidding. 

...

Passenger sanitized. Returning with biomass for recycling. Thank you for choosing The Bubble.

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