The Last Wish (Witcher Series)

Title: The Last Wish (The Witcher series)
Author: Andrzej Sapkowski
Translator: Danusia Stok
Publisher: Gollancz

Like many people, I came to the Witcher series backwards, by way of the video games produced by Polish developer/publisher CD Projekt. 

The premise of the games is fairly simple: you play Geralt of Rivia, a kind of monster hunter for hire called a 'witcher,' who gets caught up in grand schemes involving kings, wizards, elves and Destiny-with-a-capital-D. 

The games are great fun despite iffy combat mechanics, more than making up for it with incredibly detailed settings packed with adventures, treasure hunts, and ladies up for a bit of energetic bonking. It's a formula that's been wildly successful, and even led to Netflix deciding to turn it into an original series, scheduled for release in 2019.

They're all based on the works of Polish author Andrzej Sapkowski (though apparently he's mildly disparaging of the digital version). His Witcher series contains about six novels and two short story collections, of which 'The Last Wish' is one, and the first chronologically so it makes an obvious starting point. 

The book contains six short stories, with a framing tale as Geralt recovers in a temple after being seriously injured on a job. His conversations with the priestess and others he meets there spark flashbacks, each told in one of the stories.

Hats off to translator Danusia Stok for some excellent work. Compared to my other recent novel read in translation, The Three Body Problem, this book was an absolute joy. I realize fantasy is not science fiction, being less burdened by trying to explain real-world things, and English shares more culture and history in common with Polish than Chinese, so it's not an entirely fair comparison. Doesn't change the fact that these pages absolutely flew by, rather than having to steel myself to turn each one.

Not that The Last Wish is entirely faultless.

Geralt strikes me as a D&D character in a campaign that's completely run away from a hapless DM, who has said 'Fuck it' and just started agreeing to their players' increasingly ludicrous demands. He's a monster hunter with two swords, okay. Has eyes that can see in the dark, sure. Can do magic, why not. Is a smart-arsed atheist in a world ruled by magic, an anachronism but hey, knock yourself out. Has sex with all the ladies, but of course (this part at least the game reproduced faithfully).

While Geralt's personality might be a bit of a fumble, Sapkowski absolutely rolled a natural 20 on his inspiration check however, as the stories themselves are like grimy, grubby diamonds, works of gleefully twisted genius. Each one forms a kind of dark mirror reflection of a fairy tale where everything has gone wrong. 

One tale features a Sleeping Beauty who awakes only at midnight, and only then to feed. Geralt visits the home of Beauty and the Beast, but the beauty in question has an ulterior motive. He meets a grim Rapunzel-meets-Snow White princess out for bloody revenge on those who imprisoned and tried to poison her. There's even a pissed-off genie forced to fulfill an unprintable wish.

For all the adolescent wish-fulfillment of Geralt, there are also moments of almost touching insight. 

In one tale, for example, Geralt faces the trolley-problem question of whether it's more moral to choose the lesser of two evils, or to refuse to choose at all. In another, his smug atheism is undercut when it's pointed out that although faith may not have any power, it's utterly certain that being faithless has none. 

On the subject of monsters, Geralt muses:

“People ... like to invent monsters and monstrosities. Then they seem less monstrous themselves.”

In many ways, this book is a throwback to the likes of Robert E. Howard's 'Conan' or Fritz Leiber's Fafhrd and Grey Mouser stories, swashbuckling adventure and light pulpy fun with the odd bit of weightier rumination thrown in, entirely self-contained and lacking any attempt at social relevancy.

Which I must admit, comes as something of a breath of fresh air. This book was originally published in Polish in 1993 and translated into English in 2007, yet there's nothing that feels dated here (aside from the odd bit of casual misogyny, such as the aforementioned fucking everything that moves side to Geralt).There's a time and place for weighty fiction that addresses the questions of our time, but right now my only wish is for original, inventive stories that know how to have fun.

And this time, my wish came true.