Involuntary Celebrity

When he shambled, bleary-eyed, to pick up the morning paper, there was a crowd outside his front door. Some cheered, some threw eggs.

"What the hell?" He knuckled his eyes, but the crowd remained.

"Your photo was posted online," said a reporter. "Guess it hit a nerve or something, who even knows these days. You've gone viral. How’s that feel?"

He stood there, blinking in his boxer shorts and faded Hawaiian holiday T-shirt, yellow yolk slipping gently down the front. Overhead: news helicopters.

"But why the eggs?"

A shrug. "Should've watched what you said in high school. By the way, what're your plans now you've been fired?"